Every year, I seem to set myself a new year's
resolution, that I then have to repeat again the
year
thereafter. Every year, I set myself the same new year's resolution again and
again, but...
this
My
resolution for this year is not primarily about health, lovelife, etc.—it’s
about setting my priorities straight. This is particularly difficult for
me because I have no specific goals other than to do as much as I can. I take
on interesting new projects, trusting that I’ll be able to make time for them
and that I’ll have the energy and drive to complete them, and I look forward to
the feeling of accomplishment when I’m done.
But the
truth is, I don’t do as much as I can. I waste an incredible amount of time. I
often have trouble maintaining attention on what I’m doing. I can think of
several explanations for this, one of which is the failing of having a goal of
simply doing a lot of things. The accomplishment may
feel good at the end of the year, but the process itself needs to be
fulfilling, and as I’ve written before, it simply isn’t.
In addition to wasting time, I have also been
too willing to let things go. To be fair, this may have been the healthy result
of acknowledging my limitations—and sometimes it was, such as when exhaustion
or poor health got the better of me. But other times I lost the drive to do
what once absorbed me, and I simply gave up.
But this year, I'm going to stop it. I'm going to stop giving up. I'm going to stop the 'hopeless' matter I have. I'm going to be NEW and unbreakable.
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